Just when I thought that things weren't going to look up - something extraordinary happened. I got a call for a show: Cold Case. This was such a blast and I met so many great people. The crew was so hospitable and the cast was so friendly to work with.
So what did I do?
There a lot of humor to this story (I think so) and it shows that perseverance pays off.
I haven't been on the Warner lot in....let's just say that leg warmers were still "in" and I was a wee one. But I think they're in now-big this winter. Too funny. I managed to get lost and ended up on French Street when I needed to be on st. 27. At least I wasn't late. I always leave room for my uncanny ability to get inevitably lost. (Helpful hint: knowing one's weeknesses is just as important as knowing one's strengths.)
After I found where st. 27 was, I got my wardrobe (this is so much better than working in Vegas doing the same thing--I always had to provide my own wardrobe). I had such a cool wardrobe lady. She picked out this hot pink evening dress for me to try on and it was "hot". Since the breast cancer my weight is a bit under so I didn't fill this dress out as much as I normally would have, but the gathers hid my lack well. :o)
Then, she asked if I could do her a favor and I said, "Of course", she handed me what looked like the skin from a pink muppet: think Cookie Monster's sister. It was a middriff style jacket with fuschia fur. (I don't remember this style of the 1970s too much I was still watching Sesame St-lol) This was great fun to wear and boy was it hot under the stage lights. I worked out a plan and slipped it off when we weren't rolling and the crew got some water for me.
I was nicknamed Elmo and was asked if I could be tickled, I didn't mind this at all. This was a blast and everyone was super fun to work with. A 12 hour day is hard to get through and there's nothing worse than getting through it with grouchy people. I'm so thrilled to say this wasn't the case at all. I've been on the other side, the crew side many times and I can't begin to tell you how much harder the day is when there's a bad attitude on the set. My hats are off to the director and AD for running a great ship!
To all that I met yesterday, thank you so much for welcoming me. Some knew this, but some didn't: this was my first time back to work since my cancer and everyone made me feel comfortable. Thank You!
As I've said before, my life doesn't make too much sense. Maybe some can figure it out better than I. All I know is that a lot is expected of me and I have to live the life I was born to live-we all should. How I get from one point to the next remains to be quite baffling as it does seem strange to me. And to answer the question again (in talking with many yesterday I was asked): "How does someone with 3 Emmy noms. on the production side end up not being able to work in the industry for a long time, then working as an actress? Then to start from the ground up acting knowing all that I've accomplished in the past on the other side of the camera?
I don't have a good answer. I'm still asking it myself. All I can say is what I did and what happened.
It doesn't make sense for me to always know that I wanted to be an actress since I was 4 and dabble with it on and off for my entire life but then hide behind my writing, producing, directing and be very successful at those things but not seriously taking in hand that I was supposed to be an actress. I mean, haven't I proven that I have talent and drive to be able to be successful in the industry with my past success? Why not apply it to acting?
I'll say this much: the breast cancer was my wake up call. If not for this disease I would've gone to my grave (whether sooner or hopefully later) knowing that I was too chicken to go for the acting career--my passion! My Nana always said don't find yourself on your death bed regretting that you: could've, shoul've, then ultimately didn't.
I hope this answers why I'm starting from the very beginning with my acting again and have made the writing and other stuff secondary. Success doesn't fill the soul unless it's success in an area that we love. I'm completely committed now to wield the craft of acting. I guess in short: In the past I was filling my soul with things that danced around acting (from script supervisor to producer) and was fooling myself into thinking that I was doing what I wanted.
My other posts below and in the archives deals with this issue of mine a lot. I'm still searching to make sense of it all, it's been a fantastic journey. If I were to write it in novel form it would capture it well, but it would be the most unfilmable book. It has no structure but it does have a lot of breadcrumbs and clues.
I need to stop pondering all of this and just enjoy the ride. I may miss it if I become too analytical.
Self ReflectionAre we too busy, too self focused, too filled with regret or sorrow to enjoy the ride?
Unabashedly, I can say for myself: yes. I am changing this about myself.
Please, I say this often: Go live your dreams!
My love and admiration to all dreamers, Noelle
